Condition, I will allow. I prefer neurodivergence, but that's more syllables and characters ;).

The language tends to change, and other communities have a strong preference for person first language, so I absolutely understand tripping over it. I know you are only trying to be polite ;).

The reason is that the different wiring in autism is so pervasive that we feel we would not be the same people without it. It impacts our personality, our overall aptitudes, even our relationship with gender.

The other phraseology to avoid is "high functioning" and "low functioning." We hate that, especially as what it really means is "Able to pretend to be neurotypical" and "Not able to..." More specific phrasing is fine, such as non-verbal (note that many non-verbal autistic people can communicate fine if given a notebook). But "functioning".

Also, no puzzle piece. To us that symbolizes people seeing us as incomplete.

I'm always happy to educate!