It is not your fault! Autism is caused by a complex of factors, some environmental, some genetic.

Your son will be fine. Avoid ABA, it's training kids like dogs and it actually makes it harder for people to navigate a neurotypical world as an adult.

Drama therapy can often help, because it teaches us to "play a role that isn't us" when dealing with non-accepting people and that's less...stigmatizing?

Let him stim UNLESS his stims are harmful (biting himself, etc). In that case, work with his therapist to redirect to a harmless alternative. Keeping an autistic kid from stimming just makes them do it more/worse when nobody is looking and is more likely to lead to harmful stims. Some autistic kids, when he's a bit older, do find fidget spinners helpful, some don't.

If he has difficulty with language, let him use a device to type what he wants to say. Many autistic adults use an app that lets them do that...it's common to lose the ability to talk properly when under stress. Speech therapy will help, of course, but if he really can't talk, LET him type.

Also, we do have a sense of right and wrong. We don't necessarily have a good sense of what is SAFE, though. But we do have a conscience and empathy. Meltdowns in public are typically sensory overload, and somebody else gave good advice on that. A good therapist can also help him with coping mechanisms for sensory overload. Sensitivity to sound and light points towards that. Make sure he always has somewhere quiet to go.

And don't let anyone tell him, or you, that his only future is grocery bagger. He almost certainly has talents that can be developed.

Finally, IF you can afford it...horseback riding lessons are one of the best therapies for autistic kids. And for autistic adults. Horses judge us only by how well we ride, not by our social skills, and it also helps with the balance and coordination issues many of us have.

I apologize for giving unsolicited advice, but I feel for Joey, and I want him to thrive as much as I do.