Stop Policing People’s Identities

Photo by Salman Hossain Saif on Unsplash

First of all, let’s define “identity policing.”

It’s the act of asking somebody to prove they are part of a marginalized community, and placing consequences on that proof. Here are some examples:

1. Demanding a bisexual writer remove her husband from her bio so people wouldn’t think she was straight (happened to me).
2. Asking if somebody is part of a marginalized identity if they call out somebody for using slurs, etc. (happened to me).
3. Stating that only trans men may participate in something, thus forcing them to out themselves (happened in my presence).
4. Demanding to know a bisexual person’s dating history to prove they are really bisexual or “bisexual enough.”
5. Misgendering a trans man because he’s wearing a skirt and/or not medically transitioned.
6. Accusing white passing people of not being who they say they are, including white Jews (happened to me).

Identity policing is mostly an issue in the queer community. In publishing, identity policing is starting to happen as a way to gatekeep who can tell certain stories. A bisexual woman literally lost a publishing contract the ink was almost dry on because they found pictures of her with a male partner on social media.