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“Why Did You Stop Fighting?”

Jennifer R. Povey
4 min readFeb 18, 2022
Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash

Yes, I know this is my third post about Kamila Valieva, but…

But I can’t stay silent after what I saw.

If you watched it, you saw Valieva crack under pressure on the center ice, making a series of uncharacteristic mistakes culminating in a painful looking fall.

When she went out there, she looked terrified. Terrified beyond nerves and pressure.

And when she came off, her coach, Eteri Tutberidze, asked her that question.

And I shuddered.

Because what I heard was “I didn’t tell you you could get off! GET BACK ON RIGHT NOW.”

Now imagine hearing those words after you fell over five feet from a moving horse.

I don’t have to imagine.

Which means I don’t have to imagine “Why did you stop fighting?” I know how those words are when you are fifteen…or younger.

No, I wasn’t on Olympic ice, but I learned to ride in a culture where yelling at people for falling off was not just a reasonable substitute for checking whether they were okay but a typical first reaction.

It wasn’t the only abuse I received, but it mapped.

We Need to Stop Abusive Coaches

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Jennifer R. Povey
Jennifer R. Povey

Written by Jennifer R. Povey

I write about fantasy, science fiction and horror, LGBT issues, travel, and social issues.

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