You know.

I'm not going to say your husband wasn't an abuser, but the more I look at it the more I think that the root cause was his compulsive spending.

We make jokes about shopaholics, but compulsive spending/shopping addiction is absolutely a thing. The sudden binge spending, the "You shouldn't leave me alone" are all signs of compulsive buying disorder.

Just as alcohol addiction can lead to hitting one's partner, so compulsive buying disorder can segue into financial abuse.

In other words, he needs help. At the same time, you probably need to get yourself and the kids out of there.

I just wanted to bring this up because awareness of actual shopping addiction is very low and having seen it in somebody very close to me (Thankfully, we got it under control before it reached this point), I don't like to see it happening to others.